Imagine a rucksack strapped tightly to your back. At first, it’s empty, light, and easy to carry. But over time, life events – some painful, some traumatic – start to add stones to this rucksack. Each stone represents an experience that weighs you down. A childhood of neglect? A heavy rock. An abusive relationship? Another stone. Years of emotional invalidation? Pebbles that slowly pile up. Eventually, the rucksack becomes unbearably heavy, but you’ve carried it for so long that it feels like an inseparable part of you.

This metaphor paints a vivid picture of living with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Unlike traditional PTSD, which is often linked to a single traumatic event, CPTSD develops from prolonged exposure to trauma, particularly in situations where escape or relief isn’t possible – like childhood abuse, neglect, or living in an unsafe environment. The weight of these experiences doesn’t just burden your present; it shapes how you see the world, interact with others, and perceive yourself.

Simon’s Story: A Childhood of Stones

Let’s imagine Simon, a man in his early thirties. From the outside, Simon appears successful – a good job, a few close friends, and an unassuming demeanor. But inside, Simon feels like he’s constantly walking uphill with an invisible rucksack full of stones.

As a child, Simon grew up in a household where his father’s temper was as unpredictable as a thunderstorm. Sometimes, the storm would rage for hours, leaving Simon trembling and unsure of what he had done to provoke it. His mother, overwhelmed and frightened, would retreat into silence, leaving Simon feeling unprotected and alone. Every shout, insult, and slammed door added another stone to his rucksack.

At school, Simon struggled to connect with peers. The other kids seemed carefree, while Simon was always on edge, scanning the room for danger. Teachers labelled him “quiet” and “withdrawn,” unaware that he was carrying the weight of constant fear and shame. Over time, Simon learned to hide his emotions, burying them deep under layers of self-reliance and perfectionism. These coping mechanisms were like temporary padding for the rucksack – they didn’t lighten the load but made it slightly more bearable.

As an adult, Simon found himself trapped in a cycle of overachieving and self-sabotage. He pushed himself relentlessly at work, desperate for validation, yet felt unworthy of praise. In relationships, he struggled to trust, often fearing abandonment or rejection. Even small conflicts triggered overwhelming feelings of shame or anger, as though the stones in his rucksack had shifted, crushing him under their weight.

The Invisible Wounds of CPTSD

Simon’s story is a composite of many people who live with CPTSD. The condition is often rooted in adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) that disrupt normal emotional and psychological development. These experiences can include:

Chronic neglect or abandonment
Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse
Witnessing domestic violence
Living with a caregiver who struggles with addiction or mental illness

Unlike PTSD, which tends to revolve around a specific trauma, CPTSD affects a person’s core beliefs and sense of self. Common symptoms include:

Emotional Dysregulation: Sudden mood swings, intense anger, or deep sadness that feel uncontrollable.
Negative Self-Perception: Feeling worthless, unlovable, or fundamentally flawed.
Difficulty with Relationships: Struggles with trust, intimacy, or a fear of abandonment.
Dissociation: A sense of detachment from reality or oneself, often as a way to escape overwhelming emotions.
Hypervigilance: Constantly being on edge, scanning for danger, or expecting the worst.
Shame and Guilt: A pervasive sense of responsibility for things that went wrong, even when it wasn’t your fault.

For Simon, these symptoms were the invisible stones in his rucksack. They shaped his relationships, career, and overall well-being, leaving him exhausted and stuck in survival mode.

Unpacking the Rucksack: Healing from CPTSD

The good news is that CPTSD is not a life sentence. While the rucksack may feel like a permanent fixture, it is possible to unpack it, stone by stone, and reclaim your life. Healing from CPTSD often involves a combination of self-awareness, professional support, and practical strategies. Here are some steps to consider:

1. Seek Professional Help

Therapies like Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing), and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can be highly effective. As a Solution-Focused Hypnotherapist, my role is to help clients like Simon focus on their strengths and envision a future free from the weight of their trauma. By accessing the subconscious mind through relaxation techniques, we can create new neural pathways that promote resilience and self-compassion.

2. Practice Self-Compassion

One of the heaviest stones in the rucksack is often self-blame. Learning to treat yourself with kindness and understanding can lighten this load. Remind yourself that your responses to trauma were survival mechanisms – they were not flaws or failures.

3. Develop Emotional Regulation Skills

Techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing, and grounding exercises can help you manage overwhelming emotions. By staying present and connected to your body, you can reduce the intensity of emotional flashbacks and regain a sense of control.

4. Build a Support System

Healing is not a solitary journey. Surround yourself with people who understand and validate your experiences. This might include friends, support groups, or a therapist. Sharing your story with others can be a powerful way to release some of the weight you’ve been carrying.

5. Focus on the Future

One of the core principles of Solution-Focused Therapy is to help clients envision a preferred future. Instead of dwelling on the past, we focus on what life could look like without the rucksack. What would it feel like to wake up without the weight of those stones? What small steps can you take today to move closer to that reality?

6. Rewrite Your Narrative

Simon, for example, began to see his experiences not as a testament to his inadequacy but as evidence of his resilience. He learned to celebrate his strength in surviving a difficult childhood and started to let go of the shame that had been weighing him down.

7. Take One Stone at a Time

Healing from CPTSD is not about emptying the rucksack overnight. It’s about recognising each stone, understanding its origin, and deciding whether it still serves a purpose. Some stones may never disappear completely, but with time and effort, they can become much lighter.

A New Chapter

Simon’s journey toward healing wasn’t easy, but it was transformative. Through Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy, he learned to quiet his inner critic, reconnect with his emotions, and trust others again. Each session was like setting down one of the stones, freeing him to walk taller and with less pain.

By focusing on his strengths and envisioning a brighter future, Simon realised that he was not defined by his trauma. The rucksack, once a symbol of his pain, became a reminder of his courage and capacity for growth.

If you’re carrying the weight of Complex PTSD, know that you don’t have to do it alone. With the right tools, support, and mindset, it is possible to unpack your rucksack and step into a life of freedom and possibility. Healing is not about erasing the past; it’s about building a future where the past no longer holds you back.